Sunday Post

Currently, I am drinking my ice tea while trying to cure a headache. Anyone who is prone to headaches understands that the quicker they dissipate…the better. I am also sitting here, typing on my computer and hoping something inspiring will pop into my head. Every once in a while I think too hard and I just need to walk away for a bit. You can’t force yourself into an idea sometimes. It normally finds you itself. That’s when it is usually really something inspiring.

I’ve always been a good writer but recently I’ve gotten caught up in life and forgotten the things that used to make me happy. I used to paint. I used to write all the time. Poetry, letters or in a journal with my sporadic and un-organized thoughts. I cannot tell you how many times in the past, when I was stressed, that I turned to my notebook and started writing. I have old sketchbooks that I don’t even use anymore. I was really good.

Sometimes life can make us forget who we are. The things we love doing. The gifts that God gave us. If I was more disciplined on the piano, I most likely would have been even better than my intermediate playing now. I think about that all the time because I love the piano. I am drawn to it. I see a piano, any piano, and every bone in my body wants to run over and start playing it. The beauty is, is that there is time.

God has blessed us with gifts. Things we are drawn to and have a passion for. Why not put some focus on those things and see where they take you. God gave you a passion for business, go for it. God gave you a passion for music, go for it. Follow our passions, our god given gifts and live a life for God. If God does not want you to go down one door, he will shut it. God will create opportunities for you. He will not forsake his children who love and follow him.

Align your life with the goodness of God’s word. The truth he has for our lives and the love he has for us. Trust him in all circumstances. Even if you feel weak or unable to trust, pray that he will give you the strength to trust him. I constantly have to ask the Lord over and over again to forgive me for faltering in my trust. To forgive me for the mistakes I have made and remove my guilt. Then I give him my whole heart all over again and ask him for peace. It’s a daily struggle but it is a beautiful one because I know that I have a mighty and gracious father in the sky rooting for me.

Get out there, love the Lord and love others. Share your gifts with the world and have faith. The Lord is with you.

Nikki.

Home We Go

We are such fragile fragments in this infinite universe. Sometimes a person will go through many trials before they reach a place where they are somewhat content. It’s a daily struggle, sometimes minute by minute. They have to battle their brain and cage their poisoning thoughts.

But God is there.

I’m here to tell you it’s not enough to say your a Christian and go to church. Your daily life and your activities need to reflect God. Spend time with him and speak to him like he is your friend because that’s what he is. He is your father and your friend. He loves you.

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” (Corrie Ten Boom)

I’ve spent so much time putting him off. Trying to fix my own problems…leaning on my own spirit to make me happy. It obviously didn’t work. I’ve been through so much in my life because I keep making the choice to ignore him. So God keeps bringing me to a place where all I have is him. It’s hard but changes needed to start happening and I’m still continuing to grow.

I know pain. I know struggle. I know that sinking feeling that consumes you. You feel constantly short of breathe and in my case my thumb twitches constantly when I’m stressed! You feel like a zombie. It’s not a good place to stay in, so I know it seems impossible. I know you feel weak, but you have to fight through it and look to God. Every minute. Every day. You have a purpose. There is hope. And God does have a plan.

God created humans with our free will in tact, so without free will we wouldn’t have the choice to follow him. He gave us freedom to live our lives. That’s the beauty of it. That’s love. And when you get led astray by the wrong things, we have the peace of knowing God is always there.

We live our lives for God. This life is all about him. To glorify him. Then he calls us home and everything we experience on this earth seems minuscule.

Nikki.

Hope Remains

To those who feel insignificant.

Like you’re just not fully seen or understood. You go about your day feeling like you are just good enough but never that important. Not fully appreciated by those you try so hard to find acceptance in.

The world closing in around you like you’re its enemy. It’s not just one thing. It’s a million things inside another million things.

You go out of your way for anyone. You work hard. You try not to complain because you know others have it worse.

But inside you’re screaming.

Some days are good and luckily it is those days that energize you. Fill you up again. Keep you hoping.

Hope is the cure. It fights that voice in your head that tells you to give up. It brings joy and happiness to your soul. When you lay there at night and daydream about what could be. What you wish for. Dreams that could come true. Keep dreaming. Keep going. But most importantly keep hoping.

It’s so easy to feel like a zombie. Like your body is moving but there’s no life inside of you anymore. What’s the point? Why am I here? Trust me, many…many others are with you and understand.

Each situation is different. Just because one persons situation seems worse does not discredit your emotions. Your pain.

You matter. Your pain is real and it’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to realize you deserve better. It’s okay to love others even though they might not treat you the way you want to be treated.

Stay true to yourself. Become a light in this world and don’t give up.

You’ll be seen someday. You’ll be appreciated. You’ll be loved. So loved. Because you believed patience was the best for you even though it sucked. You waited. Never settling. You have felt pain. You have learned lessons.

It will come together. I know this is just another person telling you it will be okay. There are many articles like this, but hopefully if you happen to be reading this one I hope to inspire. These are just words. I wish I could heal your pain but I can barely even heal mine. I can only wait and be patient and hope. So I pass that on to you.

Take charge of your happiness. Grab it by the reigns and never give up even through the crappy days.

Let life hit you…but always get back up.

Nikki.

 

If you are ever experiencing suicidal thoughts please call the suicide hotline listed below.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline

1-800-273-8255