Peace Among Silence

Does God hear me?

Many of us have whispered this question to ourselves. I know I have. Struggles can cause doubt. Circumstances can seem hopeless. Unanswered prayers remain unanswered and we seem to wonder why.

People can go through different stages in their relationship with the Lord. My case? Starting out, I rightfully turned to God in my troubles but began to ignore God in my happiness. Everyone experiences pain and I’ve known my fair share. Lets just say God and I have ridden quite some rollercoaster. Eventually I started cursing God for my pain. Ignoring him in my happiness still. Dwelling in my own mind, depending on a heart within myself that I couldn’t even understand. Refusing to let God in again because…what was the point? I’m too far gone.

Many can relate to these feelings. Many can feel as though God isn’t listening. I changed my way of thinking one day when I read this saying,

“Don’t be a part-time Christian who demands a full-time God.”


It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was not only missing out on a relationship with the Lord, but I was missing out on discovering who I am if I ran after God with an open heart, holding nothing back. The more and more I seek God, the more I understand how to live in this world. How to deal with things and how to love. It all starts with making a choice. A choice to pursue the Lord and lay your life in his hands.

It is in this time that perseverance and patience are tested. Please remember that God is ALWAYS listening. Gods power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). His compassion is stirred up and he gets to work when we cry out to him with a humble heart. He works behind the scenes.

This is a relationship though, so we must give to God not only because he deserves all the glory, but because relationships are not one-way streets. Spending time with God and living a life that glorifies him. Making choices that glorify him. Unanswered prayers sometimes go unanswered for a reason. If you’re like me, not understanding something can really get under your skin. It’s hard but God has a plan and we must continually refocus our minds on God’s promises.

I was praying to God one night recently. I prayed about going back to school and the financial struggles of attending. I prayed his will be done and to help me financially if school was a part of the plan he has for me. The very next day I went to the financial aid office and through reasons that I am still flabbergasted about, all four years ended up being covered from a surplus of financial aid. I take no credit and give God the glory. I only tell this story because I want people to know that God does hear our prayers. His voice becomes more clear the closer we grow in a relationship with him. God’s timing is perfect. If something is aligned with his will and he believes we are ready to accept whatever it is, so it will be.

We do not know what the future holds. I have struggled and continue to struggle with this. I am human. We will never be perfect, that is why we need God. I cry out to him because I am so adamant about following his will for my life. Hoping I haven’t messed up God’s best for me with every decision made. Praying for him to forgive me for the choices I’ve made and asking him to help me forgive myself, because regret and guilt can dig a deep hole inside a person’s soul. I have a deep, emotional heart and I care so much, sometimes too much about everything. Which isn’t always a bad thing but I have to remind myself that his ways are higher than my ways. And his thoughts are higher than my thoughts (Isaiah 55:9).

Deep down, I know the truth. I know God is in control. He is in control of everything and nothing surprises him. We are still humans though. Satan can poison your thoughts and doubt can creep back in your mind. When that happens turn to God. Turn to God every time. You might feel exhausted but we must run to God. We must strive to have patience, perseverance and hope. God is preparing a heart that is healed and ready to love. Then when something good comes into our lives, we must remember to keep praising God, following and loving him.

God loves you and he wants you to love as Christ loved us. Agape love. As humans we cannot achieve such perfect love but we can certainly try. Try with all our hearts.

Nikki.