I want this blog post to be about actions and thoughts and how it is acceptable to NOT make decisions. I have recently realized how hard on myself I have been. I thought I was making the wrong decisions all the time. And I thought I was not finding the right ones. The fact that I had no idea what to do or what I wanted out of life made it worse. I was lost.
And I was beating myself up about it.
I was digging an even deeper hole without even realizing it. I thought I was fighting for happiness. I thought I was supposed to be doing better, and I thought that way I was doing it was going to eventually bring about results since I didn’t want to give up. I still don’t, but what I have learned is this…
1. The way you think shapes your actions. Your brain is so complex. Personally, I have a millions thoughts racing through my head almost all the time. Your thoughts control what your actions are. It is so important to find a new mindset when things aren’t going your way. It is not about changing your actions, it is about changing the way you view and internally deal with your surroundings.
2. It is okay to not be okay. Take a breathe. This feeling of contentment does not come overnight. Trust me, I know how it is. I tried yoga, I did meditation, I got outside, I worked out. You must take it day by day and exercise your brain. It is important to remind yourself that IT IS OKAY to be where you’re at in your life right now. Chase your dreams, but maintaining your mental health will help you get there so much sooner, so find balance. Forgive yourself, accept where you are and start from there.
3. Change can be good. If you don’t like your current situation, the beauty about that is…you can always find another way. Find a new job, move somewhere else, change majors. This is YOUR life. I spent so much time caring about what my family will think of me that I was forcing myself down a path that was just not meant for me and it made things worse. Even if it’s small change. I like to re-arrange my furniture every once in a while, or changing my style. Change can be daunting and shouldn’t be used as escapism but it can be necessary and acceptable when used in healthy doses.
4. Reaccess your goals. You might have an end goal or even a general idea that you want for you life. If it just isn’t working out for you it is okay to explore other options. Escapism is never the answer, as stated above, but it is okay to change your mind. I thought “my way” was the only way I was going to be successful. The only way I could gain respect. I was never happy. Never content. I was depressed and I always wanted to do something else with my life. I felt like I was going down the only path available to me. A path I viewed in a negative way. Take a look at your life in different angles. Helping yourself to realize you can find happiness in even the smallest of places. You can find purpose in ways that you haven’t had the chance to experience before.
5. Your mental health and happiness are important. If you put so much importance on your actions and judge yourself constantly for every step you make…you will get no where. When did the terms purpose or calling only apply to careers? When it comes to finding a job…
- Find what you love.
- Find what makes you happy.
- Find what is good for you.
I believe a person’s true calling is to find happiness. If we refocus our minds to receive the happiness that other things can bring, we can find an even deeper contentment and happiness than ever before.
These are the rules that I live by. People can definitely experience a happy and meaningful life other ways though. This by no means says that this is the one and only way. This is just what has worked for me and I want to help others that might have felt the same way I did. Lost and defeated. For so long, fighting too hard and self-critical inflictions pushed me deeper and deeper into a big mess of confusion and self-hatred. Personally I also lean on God and remind myself every once in a while to just be held. So you can conquer. You can do this. You can find happiness. This is your life. Go out there and try to view the world and your life differently, it just might open your eyes to something new.